Is it Permissible to Keep Customary Gifted Money in Traditions at Wedding Events?

Hanafi Fiqh

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel


I have a question regarding a tradition called “dood pilai” in Asian households. During weddings, there is a tradition in which the bride’s sisters take money from the groom and, in return, give him a glass of milk. It’s usually pre-planned with the groom, so he comes prepared. This event involves free mixing during the wedding, and the hijab needs to be appropriately observed.

My question is, is the money the bride’s sisters took from the groom haram in these circumstances? Is it haram to use or keep it as a gift? Does not observing modesty during this event make the money haram to keep?


In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.

It is permissible to use and keep the money as it is a pre-arranged custom; nevertheless, avoiding these types of customs is better. This only leads to adding more to the custom or introducing another.

There is a fiqh principle; Customs and societal norms are recognized in Islamic law. However, one should work on the free-mixing aspect of the custom and observance of hijab when celebrating occasions like this. [Ibn Nujaym, al-Ashbah wa al-Nadha’ir; Majallat al-Ahkam al-‘Adliyya]

Best Marriage and Dowry are the Easiest and Simplest

‘Uqba ibn’ Amir (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The best marriage is one that is easiest.

In another narration, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace)said, “The best dowry is one that is easiest.” [Ibn Hibban]

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I pray this helps with your question.
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.