Should I Marry a Pious Man Whose Father Drinks?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I intend to marry a man, but due to his background, his dad drinks alcohol. So as a Muslim sister, can I marry him because I am happy to be around him?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for being concerned about your religion first, and may He grant you prosperous marriage with the right man to complete your deen.
Corrupt Father
Although most Muslim families would prefer to have their children marry into families similar to theirs, there is no obstacle to marrying a pious Muslim man, even if his father drinks, Muslim or not. If your father is Muslim, he should give his consent. I recommend that you pray istikhara, take a marriage course, review your personally obligatory knowledge, and take good counsel from pious people around you. Don’t make a decision based on emotion.
The Prophetic Advice
Make a decision based on the Prophet’s advice (Allah bless him and give him peace), and this applies to both genders, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or her piety. Select the pious, or your hands will be covered in dust!” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Regarding this hadith, Ibn Hajar (may Allah be pleased with him), in Fath al-Bari, has said: “And it is taken from this that one with a noble lineage, it is better for him to marry one with a noble lineage, unless the lineage contradicts with a religious woman, or one with noble lineage contradicts a non-religious woman, then the religious woman is chosen. And it is likewise in the other three traits.”
Please see these links as well:
Important Traits to Look for in a Prospective Spouse
What Advice Would You Give Me to Find a Spouse?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
