Should I Refuse a Suitor Because of His Social Media Activity?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
There‘s a potential spouse that is interested in me. I heard good things about his character, and he‘s been practicing the deen for about a year now. He prays his obligatory prayers and wants to improve at everything else. But he still follows other women on social media and likes their sometimes provocative posts. Due to this, my mahram doesn‘t want me to get to know him better or accompany me to meet him. He thinks I should look for a more religious man that will push me more in my deen. I‘m making istikhara; should I give him a chance, or is it a deal breaker? A religious man is not always better in character.
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for seeking a religious person to complete your deen with. I pray that you find a suitable man that fulfills your wishes and more.
Social Media
Social media is new, and most of us still need to learn how to use it, benefit from it, keep its harm at bay, or react to what happens there. Social media also has a way of labeling people for what they are not and a way of sending the wrong messages. Because of these reasons and others, one should not fully trust social media.
If I were you, I would not assume that you know him based on his account and go ahead and meet him. If you are praying istikhara sincerely, I am certain Allah will quickly show you whether he is right for you. Hold on to the advice of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), and be sincere, and I am sure you will see what is right for you. If your mahram is unsure, have him meet him alone first, which will clarify everything.
Marry for Religion
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us what kind of people to marry, and this applies to both genders, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or her piety. Select the pious, or your hands will be covered in dust!” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Please see these links as well:
Important Traits to Look for in a Prospective Spouse
What Advice Would You Give Me to Find a Spouse?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
