What Does Islam Say About Taking Support from Relatives?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
I am a woman who has 4 kids. I only earn 80$ per month through teaching. I am not in a position to do other jobs as the kids are too small. Because of this limited salary, I cannot fulfill all the basic necessities of my kids in my home. Most of the time, we have nothing to eat. My husband is a gambler. He snatches things from me and money, too, if he took away my money, he never returns it. I am in a position I ask money for food from my relatives like my married sisters and cousin. Is it haram or halal in Islam? What does Islam say about people like me? I pray five times a day and ask Allah to help me a lot. Nobody is willing to help me. Nobody takes a stand for me and my kids; if I divorce him, I have no place to live. Need know to despite doing Job is it Haram or halal to ask for help?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question. I empathize with your situation and saddened to hear about this.
It is important and necessary for your parents, siblings, and relatives to support you financially and emotionally, in this case, and also find a way to take your husband away from his gambling addiction in the long term.
Allah Most High said, ‘So give your close relatives their due, as well as the poor and the needy traveler. That is best for those who seek the pleasure of Allah, and it is they who will be successful.’ [Quran, 30:38]
Charity Given to Family Has Two Rewards
Salman ibn ‘Amir (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, charity given to the poor has one reward, and charity given to family has two rewards: one for charity and one for upholding family ties.” [Tirmidhi]
Best Charity Given to Reconcile Family Members
Hakim ibn Hizam (Allah be pleased with him) reported that a man asked the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), “What act of charity is best?” The Prophet said, “One given to an estranged relative.” [Musnad Ahmad]
Patience and Self-Care
Patience
Mahmud ibn Labid (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said that if Allah loves a people, he afflicts them with trials. Whoever is patient has the reward of patience, and whoever is impatient has the fault of impatience. [Musnad Ahmad]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us in this very important hadith, “The believer who mixes with people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and does not put up with their annoyance.” [Ibn Maja]
Please look to the Prophet’s example (Allah bless him and give him peace) in how to be patient. Know that your patience will bear you great rewards if you act according to what Allah and His Messenger have commanded.
Self-Care
You will need to talk to a female scholar, a local Imam, a trusted family member, and a relative and seek their immediate advice. Don’t think that you have to face this alone. May Allah facilitate all ease and good for you, and may you find an immediate solution.
Regular Duas
Please learn these duas and recite them daily and pray two rakats of Prayer of Need (Salat al-Haja) regularly:
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical, and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.
Related Answers
- What Are the Duties Of Family Members Towards Each Other? – SeekersGuidance
- How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? – SeekersGuidance
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.
