Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I don’t like the idea of having children and I do not believe I will like them.
I had an unhappy childhood, not from abuse, but never feeling loved. I was materially sufficient but I used to self-harm and felt suicidal growing up.
I want to teach Sharia. I see many stupid people do so and cause confusion. I have always been in the top 10% of educational achievement. I sought sacred knowledge abroad for two years. I teach classical Arabic as a non-native. Azhar scholars respect my insights and contributions.
My feelings not to have children can be seen at odds with the Prophetic guidance. However, Imam al-Nawawi and Ibn Taymiyya didn’t have children. An infertile woman is happy to marry me and supports my ambitions.
Thank you for your question. It sounds to me that you seem to know quite enough about the religion regarding procreation, so I don’t need to tell you much.
Having children has many benefits and virtues. The joy is immeasurable, and I do guarantee that if you had children, you would like them and love them. I also know many people who married and didn’t want children but swiftly changed their minds afterward. I’m sure that you also know that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us in a hadith to marry “loving, fertile women.”
However, what you seek is still permissible, and you may move forward if you so desire it. Do pray istikhara first, and follow it objectively and honestly, without being swayed by your opinion. My advice to you is to marry someone who can have children in case you change your mind. If you marry her and want children later, you could adopt.
Please see these links as well:
I Can’t Have Children. Is It Wrong for Me to Get Married?
Is It Obligatory to Try to Have Children?
Is It Selfish To Not Want Children?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.