What Should I Do If My Little Brother Likes Playing with Girly Things?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My brother is about nine years old, and he’s showing “signs” of homosexuality. He’s interested in makeup and “girly” stuff, it isn’t that obvious, but I notice it. He likes to play with toys that are made for girls. What should I do? I’ve read many gay people have these childhood signs. I don’t want to restrict him and talk to him about homosexuality because I don’t even think he knows what it is. I don’t want to put any ideas in his mind if I am wrong. I don’t want him to think it’s acceptable, but I also don’t want to be harsh on him and forbid him from doing anything because it will do nothing and will cause him to hate Islam.
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for being worried about your brother and may He guide you to deal with him in the best way possible.
Toys
I doubt your brother is gay, and you should put it far from your mind for now. Many straight people played with the same things when they were young. I assume that he is interested in make-up and so on because he sees his mother and sisters/relatives using it. When he gets closer to puberty, he will probably discard these toys and opt for what other boys are playing with. Encourage him to play sports, play outside, play in the dirt, and by Allah’s grace, he will be just fine.
Islamic Knowledge
Islamic education for your brother is a must. Please tell your parents to ensure that he is learning about Quran, Islamic studies, and possibly Arabic so that he knows what is expected of him and understands the halal and the haram.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “O people, knowledge only comes by learning, and understanding only comes by seeking understanding. For whoever Allah intends good, he gives him an understanding of the religion. Verily, only those with knowledge fear Allah among his servants.” [Tabarani]
Please see these links as well:
- The Fiqh of Everyday Life for Youth
- Is It Permissible to Own and Keep Stuffed Animals?
- Are Sentimental Teddy Bears Permissible for Grown-Ups?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
