Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
My husband and I fight a lot for various reasons. Now we are on long distance for his education. My husband says he doesn’t have to spend on me( through credit card) as I am living with my parents and not fulfilling his responsibilities and rights as I am not staying at his place (he has a place in his home country). We do not have kids. I do not feel like staying with him anymore. What is the ruling? ( please don’t post this publicly)
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
If a husband travels, regardless of whether his wife stays at the marital home or with her relatives, he is still responsible for her expenditure.
The wife is still responsible for caring for the marital home if she stays there. She is responsible for taking permission, either explicitly or implicitly, when leaving home and obeying any instruction from him that relates to his rights.
Dealing with a Difficult Husband
You will find some advices in these links:
What Are a Wife’s Rights and Responsibilities in a Difficult Marriage?
My Husband is Abusive, Irresponsible, and Doesn’t Practice Islam
Should I Stay In My Marriage If My Husband Violated Me?
Legal Justification for Separation
There is a difference between a husband who is challenging to deal with due to their lack of religious practice and one whose difficulty is due to bad character.
If your husband is not fulfilling your rights as a wife, then there may be legal grounds for separation.
However, if he is fulfilling your rights, but you are having trouble getting along, this should not be pursued unless there is no other way of resolution.
Allah Most High says, “If you anticipate a split between them, appoint a mediator from his family and another from hers. If they desire reconciliation, Allah will restore harmony between them. Surely Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.” [Quran, 4:35]
If you can find a mediator that you both respect, or two, one from each of your families, to help you two come to some reconciliation-this should be your first step.
Note that this will not work unless both of you are committed to trying to make it work. If either or both of you are uninterested in trying to make it work – mediation will not work.
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he then completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences. He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he stayed for three years studying in Dar Al-Mustafa under some of the greatest scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib. In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Qur’an and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Qur’anic exegesis, Islamic history, and a number of texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.