Do I Have to Relocate to Another Country for My Parents?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I moved to Canada due to corruption in my home country. My parents are relocating to the USA, and my wife is expecting our first child. Both want me to move to the USA, but I’m concerned about U.S. policies affecting Muslims. I feel torn between caring for my parents and staying in Canada.
Answer
Thank you for your question. Your situation is very challenging and the only solution is to have open communication with them and come to a decision after praying isitkhara. It is not unconditionally obligatory to obey your parents and move to the USA.
Quran
Allah Most High tells us, ‘We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents’ [Quran, 46:15], and ‘Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: “My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” [Quran, 17:23]
Rights
Parents’ rights include that you take care of them financially if you are able and if they need it. There are more details regarding their rights below. Doing what is right for your children is obligatory as well, especially regarding their religion and righteous upbringing.
Please see more details on the rights of parents and children here:
Should I Abandon the Life I Have Built Abroad to Take Care of My Parents?
Fiqh of Financially Supporting One’s Parents and Relatives
When May Parents Be Disobeyed, and How?
Rights of Children in Detail
Rights of Parents
Istikhara
Praying istikhara is the best step you can take for your decision, once you have reflected on all the factors. Discuss it openly with your wife, and ask others who have lived in both places, especially those who have managed to raise pious children. Talk to your parents about possibly visiting them in the USA every year, and them coming to visit you in Canada.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
