How Can I Handle My Father’s Accusations When I Am Misrepresented?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
How should I handle my father’s anger and accusations when I am unable to help my uncle and aunt, given that they misrepresent my refusal to help?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with the frustration of being misrepresented, and I pray that you find patience, open communication, and dua as your best tools to manage this.
Patience
Allah Most High has told us in the Quran,
“And be patient, for indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good.” [Quran, 11:115]
When your father gets angry, stay calm and maintain respect and gentleness. Consider not engaging him at all when he is angry and wait until he can speak calmly. When you do, communicate clearly and honestly about the issue and clarify any misunderstandings. Do listen to his side as well and address his feelings.
Find solace in Allah’s promise in the Quran:
“(…) And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed, Allah has set a measure for all things.” [Quran, 65:2-3]
Dua
Be patient with the anger and accusations around you and persevere with patience and prayer. By Allah’s grace, the situation will get better. Please make this supplication regularly and pray for your father, aunt, and uncle to remove any rancour from your heart.
رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي، وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي، وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِّن لِّسَانِي، يَفْقَهُو قَوْلِي
“My Lord! Uplift my heart for me, make my task easy, and remove the impediment from my tongue, so people may understand my speech.” [Quran, 20:25-28]
اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ لِي مِنْ كُلِّ هَمٍّ فَرَجًا وَمِنْ كُلِّ ضِيقٍ مَخْرَجًا
“O Allah, grant me relief from every worry, and a way out from every hardship.”
Please see more details here:
- How Can I Deal With My Father Who Is Angry and Unforgiving With Us?
- How Can I Get Over My Guilt of Fighting and Insulting My Father?
- How Can I Continue Living with a Father Who Doesn’t Treat Me Well?
- Respect of the Parents – The Rights of the Parents
- How Do I Stop My Father From Lying About Me and Ruining My Reputation?
- How to Deal with an Emotionally Abusive Father?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied ‘aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
