How Do I Reconcile with My Sister Who Is Angry That She Didn’t Get a Gift?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad


My elder cousin had gone on vacation and brought some gifts for me and my younger sister. Unknowingly, I posted pics of the gifts on our family Whatsapp group. Later, I found out that he did not bring gifts for my elder sister and she saw the pics. I told my cousin that I didn’t send them purposely and he was not angry about it. I feel so guilty and miserable, as it was not my intention to spark a fire in our family. And my sister acts very cold toward me now, but it was not my fault.


Thank you for your question. Welcome to the Dunya (this lowly world)! You will find that people get upset over these paltry things and I urge you to be patient and kind until she gets over it.


The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), told us this very precious advice, “The believer who mixes with people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and does not put up with their annoyance.” [Ibn Majah]


You have done nothing wrong, so don’t defend yourself, and you don’t owe anyone an apology. However, you should be more sensitive and empathetic next time, and not advertise the gifts that you get. For now, be good to her, give her time to get over it, and give her a gift, or bring her something she likes, like coffee or a dessert. She will get over it sooner than you think, by the grace of Allah.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.