Can a Wife Desire Her Ex-boyfriend in Paradise Instead of Her Husband?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad


If people in Paradise remember their time on Earth, how can a wife be ready to devote herself to her husband if she remembers the haram relationships that she had? She may want to see her lover out of love again because love is not a negative emotion that will be removed. So how can a wife devote herself to her husband in Paradise if she desires that previous haram relationship?


May Allah allow us all to occupy ourselves with the means to receive His mercy on that fateful day instead of us being preoccupied with the so-called problems with Paradise.

No Eye has Seen

Paradise is a place that the mind cannot understand. Nor can we know what our hearts will be like after they are purified, so please don’t try to understand it now. The most accurate description of Paradise that we are given is what the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us: “Allah says: ‘I have prepared for My righteous slaves that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and it has never crossed the mind of man.’” [Ibn Maja] So, is it possible to question a reward we can’t imagine?


Everyone will enter Paradise after being cleansed and purified, free of their doubts, debts, negativity, false understandings, and lusts. Purification can be achieved in several ways: the funeral prayer having been performed for them, their ongoing charities after death, donations of reward to them by others, the intercession of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), the trials of the grave, the terrors of Judgment Day, settling scores on the Bridge over the Hellfire with others, spending time in the Hellfire, and/or Allah’s mercy and forgiveness. [Muslim; Bukhari] In this way, a believing woman will be entirely devoted to her believing husband and in bliss with him by the grace of Allah.

Please see these links as well:
Reader on Women’s Ranks in the Hereafter

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.