How Can I Ensure My Child Stays Connected to the Deen While at University?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question

How can I ensure my child stays connected to the Deen while at university?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate.

The most critical factor in ensuring that a child remains connected to the Deen while at university is what is done before the child ever reaches that stage.

The Core Duties of Religious Parenting

The scholars explain that the core parental duty of raising a child religiously has three essential components.

The first is tarbiya. This refers to raising one’s child with clear goals for both their spiritual and worldly lives. Tarbiya is the overall plan of nurturing a child stage by stage, guiding them with wisdom toward what is good and upright.

The second is ta‘dib, which is discipline. Discipline is not merely punitive. Instead, it is the instilling of adab. Adab is the cultivation of care and concern within the child, so that they develop the right attitude and the right response in word and deed in any circumstance. True discipline is the child learning to respond correctly, inwardly and outwardly, to life.

For tarbiya and ta‘dib to take root religiously, the child must also be given a sound body of religious knowledge. It is a parental responsibility to cultivate their faith, religious practice, and religious character as they grow.

Preparing the Child for Adulthood

By the time a child reaches university, they are a mature adult. While parents continue to keep an eye on them, the expectation is that the child now carries adab within themselves. They should have the internal care and concern to do what is right and respond appropriately to situations.

However, part of being a shepherd is facilitating good for one’s flock. Parents should continue to facilitate their children’s religious well-being even at this stage.

Practical Means of Support

Parents should gently encourage their children to associate with good company at university. If the child is not living at home, efforts should be made to ensure they live with good companions or in a supportive environment where possible.

Maintaining regular contact is also essential. Stay connected, ask how things are going, and remain involved with wisdom and discretion. A shepherd does not drag the flock; instead, they encourage and guide them toward good.

Providing a spending allowance can also serve as a means of encouragement, enabling the child to attend Islamic events or participate in programming. While independence is important, maintaining a financial and relational bond helps preserve a meaningful connection between parent and child.

Turning to Allah Through Supplication

Alongside taking practical means, the most powerful action is turning to Allah in supplication. Allah Most High teaches us the prayer of the righteous:

“رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍۢ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا”

“Our Lord! Bless us with (pious) spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” [Quran, 25:74]

This combination of sincere preparation, wise facilitation, ongoing connection, and heartfelt supplication is the path toward helping one’s child remain connected to the Deen during their university years.

And Allah is the giver of success and facilitation.
[Shaykh] Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having studied under leading scholars from around the world. He is the Founder and Executive Director of SeekersGuidance.

Shaykh Faraz stands as a distinguished figure in Islamic scholarship. His journey in seeking knowledge is marked by dedication and depth. He spent ten years studying under some of the most revered scholars of our times. His initial studies took place in Damascus. He then continued in Amman, Jordan.

In Damascus, he was privileged to learn from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas. Shaykh Adib al-Kallas was renowned as the foremost theologian of his time. Shaykh Faraz also studied under Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi in Damascus. Shaykh Hassan is recognized as one of the leading Hanafi jurists of our era.

Upon completing his studies, Shaykh Faraz returned to Canada in 2007. His return marked a new chapter in his service to the community. He founded SeekersGuidance. The organization reflects his commitment to spreading Islamic knowledge. It aims to be reliable, relevant, inspiring, and accessible. This mission addresses both online and on-the-ground needs.

Shaykh Faraz is also an accomplished author. His notable work includes “Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School,” which was published by White Thread Press in 2004 and is a significant contribution to Islamic literature.

His influence extends beyond his immediate community. Since 2011, Shaykh Faraz has been recognized as one of the 500 most influential Muslims. This recognition comes from the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center. It underscores his impact on the global Islamic discourse.

Shaykh Faraz Rabbani’s life and work embody a profound commitment to Islamic scholarship. His teachings continue to enlighten and guide seekers of knowledge worldwide.