Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question: Assalamu alaykum
I have been struggling with my OCD regarding religion. Alhamdulillah, I am almost recovered completely. However, one question that is taking a toll on me is whether Allah loves me because I do not wear the hijab. This question has made me want to forget everything I have accomplished in my religion because I feel unworthy for not covering my hair. I have stopped wearing skirts and bikinis. I hope to wear the hijab one day. Are any of my good deeds accepted despite not wearing a hijab?
Answer: Assalamu alaykum sister,
Thank you for your question. Allah, Most High, says in His book, “Say, ‘If you love God, follow me, and God will love you and forgive you your sins; God is most forgiving, most merciful.’“ [Qur`an, 3:31]
Also, in a hadith Qudsi, it has been related that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Allah, the Almighty, and Sublime, said, ‘Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him.‘“ [Bukhari]
Allah’s Messenger, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel, saying, ‘Allah loves so and so, O Gabriel love him‘. So Gabriel would love him and then would make an announcement in the Heavens, ‘Allah has loved so and so, therefore, you should love him also.‘ So all the dwellers of the Heavens would love him, and then he is granted the pleasure of the people on the earth.“ [Bukhari]
As you can see from the above, Allah, Most High, loves his servants if they take steps towards Him and follow the way of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace. Allah even declares war on the person who is at enmity with the one He loves!
You have done an outstanding job by putting away your skirts and bikinis and I am positive that you will be rewarded for it. Every single good deed counts unconditionally and if done for the sake of Allah, it will serve you for all eternity in sha Allah. It seems to me that your effort to change is a clear sign in itself that Allah loves you. If Allah has deemed you worthy to be Muslim, trust Him and thank Him for it.
Keep up your good work, don’t ever despair, keep up your good intention to wear hijab and always seek to improve yourself, your knowledge and your application of it. Ask Allah to guide and strengthen you every step of the way.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterwards, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.