Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Can I cut off ties with a Muslim friend? I am trying to become a better Muslim. She really angers me, she cheats on tests, lies, and swears. I tried to advise her but she doesn’t listen. Can I not talk to her anymore?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for getting in touch with us.
Abu Musa (may Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (upon him be blessings and peace) as saying: “The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one blowing the bellows. The owner of musk would either offer you some free of charge, or you would buy it from him, or you smell its pleasant fragrance; and as for the one who blows the bellows (i.e., the blacksmith), he either burns your clothes or you smell a repugnant smell.” [Muslim]
It is extremely important for you to be with good company, as the spiritual state of those close to us inevitably rubs off on us.
You have done your part in giving her advice. You can’t control her actions, but you can control how you behave. You can reduce your closeness with her with the intention of protecting yourself. At the very minimum, return her salams.
Balance being assertive with her while choosing your battles. You’ll get better at this with practice. Please consider seeing a school/college counsellor to help you learn skills such as assertiveness and conflict resolution. As you go through life, you will continue to meet difficult people. View these challenging individuals as opportunities for your personal growth.
One of my teachers shared that people of bad character are a test of our good character.
Make dua for Allah to improve her state, to improve yours, and ask Him to send you friends who bring you closer to Him.
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani