Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: I have entered Islam a few years ago, alhamdulillah, and have been married for 2 years. My husband doesn’t like my family because they aren’t Muslim despite the fact they are happy for me to practice my religion. My husband does not want me to see them often and I miss them. How often can I see them? And could I see them without my husband’s permission at all?
Answer: Assalam ‘aleykum,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah ease your heartache and grant you a swift opening.
‘A’isha reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: “The tie of kinship is suspended to the Throne and says: He who unites me Allah would unite him and he who severed me Allah would sever him.” [Bukhari]
First of all, it’s important for you to remember that you have the right to visit your family, especially your parents.
Please sit down with your husband and come up with a solution, in the spirit of love and mercy. Gently explain to him how much you miss your family, and how important it is for you to keep in touch with them. Approach it from an angle he can understand. Perhaps he would be more open if you explain that you wish for them to embrace Islam through you keeping ties and showing good character.
If this approach doesn’t work, is there a trustworthy scholar your husband and you can consult to help you with this situation?
It might help for both of you to do the Seekers Guidance course on marriage, to help you both understand the rights and responsibilities you have towards each other as husband and wife.
Seeing your family anyway
Although it’s your right to see your family, I would advise against you going behind your husband’s back. I’m concerned that if he were to find out, you would suffer from the fall out. Contact them via telephone, at the very minimum, so that you can at least reassure them that you’re OK.
Patience and Tahajjud
Remember that Allah is the Turner of hearts. No matter how hopeless you may feel right now, know that your duas are never wasted. This temporary tribulation may be means for you to increase in the sincerity of your duas. Wake up before Fajr and make heartfelt dua for Allah to soften your husband’s heart and reunite you with your family. Nothing is difficult for Allah Most High.
Raidah Shah Idil
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani