Answered by Shaykh Riad Saloojee

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I am struggling to find peace in my heart now. I have been divorced 5 years ago on no fault of my own.

Since then I have struggled to find that peace in my heart. 5 years on and I am in search of a decent spouse. I sometimes feel that I am being constantly judged on the fact that I have been divorced when it wasn’t even my fault. This is breaking me completely and now I am so lost that all I see is darkness.

Why can’t I find peace and contentness in my heart now?

Answer:Wa’alaykumsalam wa rahmatullah wa barakaatu,

I pray you are well, by Allah’s grace. What follows is a general answer, without regard to specific details that I do not have.

It appears your lack of peace of mind and heart is connected to your difficulty in finding a compatible spouse.

I would remind myself and my sister to always keep in mind that Allah created every aspect of life to test us, purify our hearts, reveal us to ourselves and draw us nearer to Him.

It is important to keep your difficult situation within this Islamic spiritual understanding. It is Allah’s decree that your finding of a spouse has been delayed. Through that, you are tested, purified, will be led to a deeper understanding of yourself and, Allah willing, draw closer to Him.

As you continue, know that your patience and surrender to Allah is a tremendous act of worship. Allah teaches: “Surely, those who practice patience will be rewarded without measure” [Qur’an: 39:10].

Your future spouse is a rizq, or provision, not unlike material provision. While you seek a spouse, know that your actions will not produce the result or guarantee it. It will come when and how Allah decrees.

If we do not surrender in patience to Allah’s decree, the inner difficulty that we experience can be far more bitter than the difficulty of patience. Allah knows your limits. With hardship, there will be ease.

I would advise my sister to seek nearness and strength from Allah with much supplication (du’a).

Your brother,
[Shaykh] Riad Saloojee

Shaykh Riad Saloojee graduated and taught in an Islamic seminary in Cape Town, South Africa.  He is a lawyer by training and worked in the field of civil rights advocacy. Currently, he teaches and translates.

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