Dealing With Emotional Abuse from Parents

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: What is the guidance that Islam gives for a child suffering emotional abuse by their mother. How should one go about rectifying the feelings of insecurity, self pity and worthlessness as a result of being raised with constant emotional abuse.

Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful

Assalamu alaikum,

Dear Sister,

As hard as it may be to accept, not every person gifted with children is going to live up to her parental responsibility. Mothers who emotionally abuse their children or are emotionally absent are often very conflicted about motherhood and are perhaps dealing with some unresolved pain in their background.

As an adult, you can certainly try to have a conversation with your mother. I would suggest counseling. It would certainly help if your mother acknowledged her mistakes and validated your feelings. Keep in mind, though, that this may never happen. You may have to find it within yourself to forgive your mother, move on with your life, and seek all the emotional, psychological, and spiritual support you need to ensure you don’t repeat history with your own family.

May Allah make things easy,

Zaynab Ansari