Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
It really feels that Allah hates women. So many things in Islam are just there to hurt women. Despite many women feeling hurt by polygamy, the Quran and hadith are filled with Hooris. Yet there is nothing that men hate about paradise. Why? Like I cry so much when I hear the word Hooris and when I hear Paradise. While these same words are designed to hurt me, they make men super happy. But when it comes to punishment, we get more punishment. Why? Can I at least hate Hooris? They will be the reason women won’t get their desires? Why would I like them, then? I don’t want to share my husband. Why can’t I have this? After all, I have feelings and don’t like to be deprived. Does Allah hate women?
Thank you for your question. I am sorry that you feel that Allah hates you, but He does not, and He has never indicated in any way that He hates women. Perhaps you hate yourself; I urge you to look deep inside your heart and fill your emptiness with the love of Allah Most High, which is the only thing that can truly fulfill you.
Paradise is a place that cannot be understood by the mind. Nor can we understand what our hearts will be like after they are purified, so please don’t try. Every single person will enter Paradise after having been cleansed and purified, being free of their doubts, debts, negativity, false understandings and sin. Purification can be achieved in a number of ways: the funeral prayer having been performed for them, their ongoing charities after death, donations of reward to them by others, the intercession of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), the trials of the grave, the terrors of Judgment Day, settling scores on the Bridge over the Hellfire with others, spending time in the Hellfire, and/or Allah’s mercy and forgiveness. [sources from Muslim, Bukhari]
Please don’t try to understand how you will feel then, but know that you should strive every second of the day for Paradise and Allah’s mercy. You will not hate the maidens of Paradise because there will be no hatred or contempt in Paradise. They are not designed to hurt you, and you should be ashamed of accusing your Creator of such motives. I guarantee you that you will be overjoyed, by the grace of Allah, by the delights of Paradise. In terms of punishment, the punishment of men and women is the same, neither gender is punished more severely than the other, and each will reap what they sowed.
The Ultimate Triumph
Suffice yourself with this. Allah Most High has told us in His words: “Allah has promised the believers, both men and women, Gardens under which rivers flow, to stay there forever, and splendid homes in the Gardens of Eternity, and—above all—the pleasure of Allah. That is ˹truly˺ the ultimate triumph.“ [Quran, 9:72]
I ask you that you turn your thoughts of hatred into thoughts of love and contemplate this verse of the Quran: “ Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “If you ˹sincerely˺ love Allah, then follow me; Allah will love you and forgive your sins. For Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Quran, 3:31]
Please see this link as well:
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.