How Can I Deal With Living With My Brother's Drug Problem?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I loved a girl and she married someone else. Whenever I see her my heart burns. It’s also true that she loved me. She still wants to keep in touch. I can’t console my heart. Shall I get Allah’s mercy and a reward for my suffering for my sinful act?

Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam. Thank you for your writing in to us.

Dear brother, I advise you to move on from this affair and get on with your life. While the situation may break your heart for now, over time and as new events occur, it will pass. Do your best please Allah by not disobeying Him and fulfilling your duties, and let Allah take care of the rest.

Understanding Misfortune

Hasan al Basri (may Allah have mercy on him) said, ‘Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.’ As such, while you may feel as if you have missed out on something, Allah knows the true reality of the situation and how things would have ended up. And Allah’s Decree is perfect.

Sin and Reward

To be forgiven for a sin, one must make a sincere repentance. Please refer to this Reader on Tawba (Repentance)

While the cause of your sorrow was from wrong actions, if you are tolerant and bear the experience for the sake of Allah and out of contentment with His Decree, then insha’Allah you will be rewarded for your patience.

What to do?

Make repentance from any wrong-doing and resolve not to have further communication with the young lady. She is married and her reaching out to you is wrong for many reasons. Take it as a lesson learnt and move on.

Be grateful to Allah for everything, and keep your tongue busy with saying ‘Alhamdulillah’ often.

Be patient with marriage. When it is the right time it will happen. Please refer to this answer which includes supplications for finding a spouse: Supplication for a Spouse

Warmest salams,
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.

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