How Can I Get My Ex-boyfriend To Delete My Pictures After I Got Religious?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I have recently ended my relationship with a non-Muslim guy and repented. He still messages me and also posted a video of us on his private TikTok account. I had to lie to him about moving out of the country as he wouldn’t let me go and said he loved me a lot and wouldn’t forget me. He is also very selfish and I hate him.
I have repented and am trying to change my ways. My main problem is he has pictures and videos of us that are not very appropriate and when I once asked him to delete them, said no they are for memories. I tried to delete them but it wasn’t possible so I had to leave. I have given him no reaction yet but am very scared about what to do.
Should I tell him to take the video down because I am wearing a hijab now or block him?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration and confusion and I pray that you can move forward in your life and forget about your past. The best way is to cut him off completely.
Repentance
All praise to Allah that you feel regret and remorse and repented. Continue to gain closeness to Allah through worship and increasing your knowledge and practice. Pray on time, give charity regularly, read the Quran daily and avoid the haram. This is the only way to truly stop worrying about your past. May Allah make your affairs easy for you and guide you to what is best when you seek a spouse. Don’t disclose your past to anyone. I don’t think you should ask anything of him. Just pray that he finds the right person in his life, marries her and puts all his focus on her.
Solace
Find solace in this Quranic verse. Allah Most High says, “Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.’” [Quran, 39:53]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up an evil deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.“ [Tirmidhi] Perform good deeds now, and by Allah’s grace, the rest will be wiped out.
Please see these links, apply the tips within and memorize the du`as.
What To Do About My Pictures Online From the Time Before I Wore Hijab?
Are There Valid Reasons to Reveal Sins?
Can We Deny Having Committed Sins After We’ve Repented From Them?
Beyond Hijab: Modesty Amongst Women in Islam
A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
