Is It Conducive to Spiritual Growth To Keep a Gift From an Ex-Boyfriend?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

 

Question

If one engaged in a haram relationship in their past, then repented, and rectified their account, and has gifts left over, what should be done with those gifts? Are there spiritual implications for bringing haram energy into the vicinity of keeping such a gift? The item was kept because one likes them, not due to attachment of the past.

Answer

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your follow-up question. May Allah reward you for stepping away from this relationship and repenting. Allah is the Most Merciful of the merciful.

Keeping a gift

It is not impermissible to keep a gift given by such a person from your past, especially when it is not kept as a keepsake.

Spirituality

I cannot say for sure that it would be spiritually harmful to keep such a gift, but it is possible. Generally speaking, when gets rid of everything from that time, so that nothing reminds one of that relationship, it’s the best way to move forward and really leave it in the past. I imagine you wouldn’t want to keep anything around, especially if you plan to marry one day. How might it make your husband feel? How would you feel if he kept something from his past relationship?

Put Allah first

Also, the idea here is to follow this hadith:

“You will never leave something for the sake of Allah, but Allah will give you something better in return.” [Ahmad] So, if the gift was beautiful or expensive, it might be better to let it go, as a way to turn your heart to Allah completely, and then expect that you will end up with something better.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad  

 

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.