I Love a Boy Who Is Muslim. What Should I Do?

Answered by Shaykh Shaykh Abdurragmaan Khan

Question: Assalam alaykum, I love a boy who is muslim but I haven’t confessed my love to him. Through my friends he knows that I like him. Should I confess my love to him directly, wait, or should I try to stop loving him. What is the solution for this?

Answer: Wa alaykum al-Salam,

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful,

The Islamic solution for a male or female that has an inclination towards the opposite sex is nikah or marriage. If you are interested in a prospective brother/sister then it would be perfectly fine to present a proposal to him/her.

In the case of a female, she may appoint another to speak to the prospective husband and determine whether he shows a similar interest. Thereafter, if he does, he would approach her father or any male representative.

Our mother, Sayyidah Khadijah radiyaLlahu ‘anha, when she developed a desire to marry the Messenger sallaLlahu alayhi wasallam, she sent her close friend Nafisah to the Messenger sallaLlahu alayhi wasallam who expressed to him her desire of marriage. The Messenger sallaLlahu alayhi wasallam thereafter spoke to his family and they consequently arranged to meet the male representatives of Khadijah’s family and concluded the marriage.

In the case of the male, he would speak to the prospective bride’s male representatives as mentioned above.

These are the Islamic guidelines, whomsoever follows them will find felicity, love and contentment.

And Allah knows best


[Shaykh] Abdurragmaan Khan

Shaykh Abdurragmaan
received ijazah ’ammah from various luminaries, including but not restricted to: Habib Umar ibn Hafiz—a personality who affected him greatly and who has changed his relationship with Allah, Maulana Yusuf Karaan—the former Mufti of Cape Town; Habib ‘Ali al-Mashhur—the current Mufti of Tarim; Habib ‘Umar al-Jaylani—the Shafi‘i Mufti of Makkah; Sayyid Ahmad bin Abi Bakr al-Hibshi; Habib Kadhim as-Saqqaf; Shaykh Mahmud Sa’id Mamduh; Maulana Abdul Hafiz al-Makki; Shaykh Ala ad-Din al-Afghani; Maulana Fazlur Rahman al-Azami and Shaykh Yahya al-Gawthani amongst others.