Marriage Decision: Following One’s Heart

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Question: I’m having trouble deciding on whether to marry a particular individual–and I’ve had this trouble before. He is good in his religious practice, seems compatible (I quite like him), and is financially stable. But…

Answer: Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and spirits.

This would appear to be a case where you should follow the words of the Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace & blessings be upon him & his folk), “Seek an answer from your heart, even if people give you answer after answer.” [Ahmad, and others]

Asking your heart entails asking yourself what decision honestly appears to be most likely to be most pleasing to Allah in the immediate and long term. This is also at the essence of what we seek in the prayer of seeking guidance (salat al-istikhara), if you reflect on its words.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) advised us to seek someone of religious concern (deen) and good character.

The sign of religious concern is that they appear to strive to seek the pleasure of Allah in their worship, conduct, and life dealings.

The sign of good character is that they’re gentle, easy-going, and can control themselves in anger and negative situations. Marrying such a person will facilitate for you the good of this life and the next.

May Allah facilitate for you the right choices, and place blessing and good in them for you, your family, and humanity.

And Allah alone gives success.
Faraz Rabbani