Can I Get Married to a Chaste Man after Having Masturbated as a Woman?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question

I’m a 25 years old girl from Pakistan. I have a question related to masturbation. I have been masturbating since I was 13 years old. Every time I masturbate I repent and promise Allah that I will not do this sin again, but after a week I do it again.

I am engaged but I am not getting married because of this, because I think that I am not good enough for him.

Have I lost my chastity by doing all this? Is it forbidden for me to marry a chaste man now?

Answer

I pray you are well.

There is no need to feel depressed about this issue. You have not lost your virginity, nor your chastity by doing these acts. Also, you have not become a lesbian.

Keep turning back to Allah. He loves it when a servant repents.

Committing these sins does not mean you are not good enough to be married to someone; rather, it is the means to get yourself out of them. Allah has blessed you with a potential spouse to take you out of these problems. Thank Him, and go into the marriage with every intention and action to make it a successful marriage.

Disclosing Sins

In general, it is obligatory to hide your past sins. Ask Allah to veil your sins from people in this life and the next, and for Him to grant you the ability to stay away from them.

Telling your future husband of these matters is likely to cause a rift between you so do yourself a favour, and do not tell him.

Please refer to this answer for more information.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 to study and sit at the feet of some of the most erudite scholars of our time.

Over the following eighteen months he studied a traditional curriculum, studying with scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish.

In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years, in Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Shama’il, and Logic with teachers such as Dr Ashraf Muneeb, Dr Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr Mansur Abu Zina amongst others. He was also given two licences of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabr and Shaykh Yahya Qandil.

His true passion, however, arose in the presence of Shaykh Ali Hani, considered by many to be one of the foremost tafsir scholars of our time who provided him with the keys to the vast knowledge of the Quran. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic Sciences, Tafsir, Arabic Grammar, and Rhetoric.

When he finally left Jordan for the UK in 2014, Shaykh Ali gave him his distinct blessing and still recommends students in the UK to seek out Shaykh Abdul-Rahim for Quranic studies. Since his return he has trained as a therapist and has helped a number of people overcome emotional and psychosomatic issues. He is a keen promoter of emotional and mental health.