What To Do if Your Close Companion Decides To Leave the Religion?

Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil

Question: A close companion who introduced me to the mosque and triggered my love for Islam has decided to leave the religion due to factors such as betrayal and feeling more accepted by people in church. What is the best way to approach the matter? What are the final words of encouragement that could be said?

Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray this finds you well. I am so sorry to hear about this calamity.

Lead by example

Your friend is going through a spiritual crisis. Be there for him, in a way which will bring about most benefit. If you feel that exhorting him to stay on Islam will bring about more benefit, then do so. If you feel that doing so will bring about more harm, then refrain. Pray istikhara on the best course of action. I pray that Allah helps you come to the best decision in this difficulty. At the very minimum, be his friend, and the rope to which he can return to, when he is ready.

It sounds like he is deeply disappointed by creation, which is part of life in this dunya. Make dua for Allah to help him see the difference between the Creator and His creation. Ultimately, if one’s relationship with Allah Most High is strong, then inshaAllah, nothing Muslims can do can waver one from His deen. However, if there is already a rift in our relationship with Allah, then we are much more susceptible to deep misgivings.

Spiritual nourishment

During this time, look after your own spiritual life. Ground yourself through obligatory and supererogatory acts of worship. Wake up in the last third of the night, even if it’s a few minutes before fajr enters, and cry out to your Merciful Lord. Give sadaqa, then make dua for yourself, your friend, and the ummah. Lean on your loved ones, and remember that this too, is part of Allah’s plan.

Trust in Allah

Reflect upon this aphorism by Ibn Ata’illah,

Whooever finds it impossible that God will save Him
from his lusts and take him out of his heedlessness
has declared divine power impotent.
“And God is able over all things.” [Qur’an 18:45]

Trust that Allah has power over all things, including your faith and your friend’s. The wheel is always turning. This could be a temporary dip for him. Even tremendously painful trials such as this one are still part of Allah’s Wisdom. I pray that Allah guides your friend back to Islam, and that brings you ever closer to Him.

Related links:

Misgivings about apostasy and how to deal with them

Wassalam,

Raidah

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani