Did Two or Three Divorces Occur Through My Conditional Oaths?

Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Question

I made three conditional divorce oaths. The first was if I fulfilled my desires in a haram way, the second was if I did so through pornography, and the third was if I looked at a woman on my phone with a lustful gaze.

After masturbating, I then fulfilled my desires through a porn site. A local scholar told me that two divorces had occurred, so I continued the habit, but I have now stopped. Did two divorces happen, or three?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

May Allah reward you for giving up that habit and for seeking the honest answer instead of the easy one.

The Short Answer

I cannot give you a final answer through a written question, and it would not be right for me to try.

The issue is whether your marriage is still valid with one divorce left, or if it ended earlier.

Only a qualified mufti can decide this in person, after reviewing the exact wording of all three oaths. Please visit a reliable Dar al-Ifta in Islamabad this week.

What the Question Depends On

In the Hanafi school, a suspended divorce is considered an oath. When the condition is met, the divorce takes effect, and the oath is fulfilled.

Doing the same act again does not trigger another divorce, unless you used the word “whenever” (kullama) [Ibn ’Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar].

Your three oaths are separate, and each can only take effect once. This means that continuing the habit afterward did not add to the count, which is one clear point of relief I can offer.

Your first oath was fulfilled. Your second oath specifically mentioned pornography, and it also appears to have been fulfilled. This is why your local scholar counted two divorces.

The third oath is especially important. You swore not to look at a woman on your phone with a lustful gaze.

Whether choosing a video from a list counts as breaking this oath depends on your intention, because in our school, oaths are judged by what the person meant and by common practice, not just by the words used [Mawsili, al-Ikhtiyar].

There is also a legal discussion about whether an image is the same as the real thing. So, what you meant when you swore is a key fact, and only you can explain it to a mufti in person.

There is another important detail the mufti will need. If a divorce took place, taking your wife back, even by resuming relations, counts as revocation (raj’a) in our school and keeps the marriage valid.

If you let the waiting period end without doing this, the marriage ends. So, what happened after each event is just as important as the number of divorces.

Why This Cannot Be Settled in Writing

When the count is two, your marriage will continue, and one divorce will still be possible; but if the count is three, the separation will be final, and you will not be able to remarry under ordinary circumstances.

Since the consequences in these two situations are so serious, they cannot be decided upon without personally knowing all the relevant facts.

What to Do in Order

Start by writing down precisely the exact words you used in each of the three oaths and also what at the time you thought you were committing yourself to.

Then, set out the account of the events as well as you remember, specifying what took place, when it occurred, and whether you and your wife remained husband and wife after that.

Take both sets of notes to a trustworthy mufti in person this week, and until he has given his ruling, it is best to refrain from intimacy.

Take someone you can trust and go with them so you won’t have to go through this all by yourself, and make sure you don’t let this situation cause you to fall back into your old habits. The fact that one has stopped is a kindness from Allah, and keeping count of oaths does not take that away.

Allah (the Most High) says: “And for whoever remembers Allah, He will provide a way out for them.” [Quran 65:2] May Allah make it easy for you and grant you peace in your heart.

And Allah (Most High) knows best.

[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Related Answers

• Are These Utterances Counted as Divorce? – Directly addresses multiple statements, including a conditional divorce, and explains when each statement counts as a talaq.
• Do Conditional or Ambiguous Statements From a Husband Lead to Divorce in Islam? – Explains the Hanafi distinction between explicit and ambiguous divorce statements and how conditional statements are treated.
• Do Angry Phrases or Words That Indicate Separation Constitute a Divorce? – Discusses conditional divorce, ambiguous expressions, intention, and circumstances surrounding statements made in anger.
• What Is the Ruling on Conditional Oaths? – Explains conditional oaths, their consequences, and the expiation required when a binding oath is broken.

Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar Shaykh Taha Karaan (Allah have mercy on him), where he taught.

Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Shaykh Muhammad Awama, Shaykh Muhammad Hasan Hitu, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.

He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has been the Director of the Discover Islam Centre, and for six years, he has been the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.

Shaykh Irshaad has fifteen years of teaching experience at some of the leading Islamic institutes in Cape Town). He is currently building an Islamic podcast, education, and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and has completed his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy Prophetic living and fitness.