How Can We Stay Married After My Husband Gave Me Three Divorces?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

My husband gave me a divorce out of pure anger last year. We reconciled and got back together. More recently, we had a huge argument, and he again gave me another two divorces out of anger; after that, we reconciled.

We were both under the assumption that the first divorce was totally revoked; however, doing some research, we are both now really confused and might think that’s not actually the case.

We want to stay together.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

When a divorce is pronounced it counts towards the three. Although you both got back together, it does not reset it to zero. Then he pronounced two divorces which amounted to three in total.

When a divorce is pronounced, it is out of three, even though the husband revokes it after the first and second. Each divorce will count towards the three.

Once the third and final divorce is pronounced – in your case two divorces were pronounced – both husband and wife are forbidden for the other, and the separation is immediate, although one must go through the waiting period before remarrying [Maydani, Al-Lubab Fi Sharh al-Kitab; Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Can You Stay Together?

You cannot remain together with him unless you remarry someone else, consummate the marriage; it happens that you are separated again, and you both then agree to remarry. In such a case, the divorces allowed will return to zero under a new marriage contract.

Given the considerations in such cases, we urge you to please consult reliable local scholars about the specifics of the situation.

I pray to Allah Most High that He facilitates ease for you both and destine what is khayr for you, amin

Check these links:
A Guide to Marriage: SeekersGuidance Reader – SeekersGuidance
divorce Archives – SeekersGuidance
Does Intercourse Completely Reset the Number of Divorces Back to Zero? – SeekersGuidance
Does Divorce Come in Effect in Extreme Anger? (seekersguidance.org)

I pray this helps with your question.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled into an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and Alimiyyah sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan.

He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for a number of years. He has taught hifz of the Qur’an, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to both children and adults onsite and online extensively in UK and Ireland. He was teaching at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences.

He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His personal interest is the love of books and gardening.