Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
I am going through a khul’. Could you help me with some clarification? I have been married for almost nine years now. My husband and I have not had physical contact in over two years. We have been physically separated; in different homes since July 21st, 2021. I did go back in December of 2021 for a week to give it one last chance. However, it did not work out. Even for that one week, we had no physical contact. Is ‘idda (waiting period) wajib on me?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
I pray you are in good faith and health. I am sad to hear you have gone through this for a long time. Allah Most High reward you for your patience, Amin
‘Idda (waiting period) is only after when a divorce, khul’, or death of a husband takes place.
If you are still in the process of going through a khul’ and it has not been finalized, then wait for the confirmation of it actually taking place and agreed mutually, verbally or in writing. If it has taken place already, then in that case, your ‘idda (waiting period) started from the day it was effected and mutually agreed; verbally or in writing.
Waiting Period (‘Idda)
The waiting period after a khul’ is the same as that for a divorced woman, three complete menses. [Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]
As a dispensation, if you must work, according to the Maliki school, a woman in the waiting period may leave the house during the day. This ruling applies to both divorced as well as widowed women.
The limits are specifically from slightly before fajr until before Isha. Yet some Malikis
say according to the custom of the time and place that one may leave the house anytime during the day and it is not limited to needs, she may go out for other reasons too, such as weddings, religious gatherings, etc. [Dusuqi/Dardir, Hashiyat Dusuqi ‘ala Sharh Kabir; Hattab, Mawahib Jalil Sharh Khalil]
Wisdom of ‘Idda (Waiting Period)
There are several wisdoms behind the need for an ‘idda (waiting period).
Some of these are:
- Making sure that she is not pregnant so that there would be no confusion on who the father of the child is if the woman were to remarry and get pregnant right away;
- To help couples, families, and communities understand the gravity and sanctity of marriage;
- In cases of divorce, the waiting period provides time for reconciliation and reconsideration, particularly if the divorce took place at the insistence of the husband; and
- As an expression of grief on the passing of the deceased husband if one’s husband passes away.
Check the links:
What Is the Process of Asking Khula from Husband – (seekersguidance.org)
khul’ Archives – SeekersGuidance
(1) What are the rulings of the waiting period (‘idda)? Islam FAQ with Shaykh Faraz Rabbani – YouTube
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I pray this helps with your question.
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied within UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan and Turkey.
He started his early education in UK. He went onto complete hifz of Qur’an in India, then enrolled into an Islamic seminary in UK where he studied the secular and Alimiyyah sciences. He then travelled to Karachi, Pakistan.
He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for a number of years. He has taught hifz of the Qur’an, Tajwid, Fiqh and many other Islamic sciences to both children and adults onsite and online extensively in UK and Ireland. He was teaching at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences.
He currently resides in UK with his wife. His personal interest is love of books and gardening.