Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat
My lover and I read surah al-Fatiha together. Before reading the sura al-Fatiha, he asked me to marry him and I said yes.
However, My family does not accept him and they don’t know if I read this with him or not. However, the guy told me, that it’s haram for me to marry another guy because I read sura al-Fatiha. Is this correct?
I pray you are well.
No, this action does not entail that you are married. His asking you and your agreeing indicates a promise to marry him in the future, and not a marriage contract.
Seeking Parental Approval for Marriage
Islam allows people to choose their spouses. However, in the interests of all parties involved, there are certain criteria that the prospective husband must meet. These matters relate to suitably the spouses.
If the prospective husband does not fulfil this criteria then no marriage will be valid between the couple without the explicit approval of the wali (father, or brother, etc. in his absence). This is to prevent any sort of mis-match for the lady, and social stigma for the family. [Maydani, al-Lubab]
The most important criteria for suitability in most cases is religious practice, profession, and the man’s ability to maintain his lady according to the standard she lived at in her fathers house, in general. There are many wisdoms behind such rulings.
Take profession, for example. If the lady is a doctor, for example, and the husband is a taxi driver – a respectable, halal occupation – it could lead to issues between them in future. She may want a higher standard of living for herself and her children which he may not be able to provide, leading to problems – especially if he does not want there to work.
Avoiding Sinful Relationships
From your question, it seems like you are in a relationship with this man. It is far, far better for you to not engage in such a relationship. Please refer to this answer for more information on that.
I’d advise you to walk away from this relationship, ask Allah for forgiveness, and find a spouse who is suited to you. There will be more blessings in things done the right way.
May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital and he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.