I Have Broken Someone's Heart. Can I Give Charity on His Behalf?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam ‘aleykum.

Should I pay an expiation after breaking my vow to not have a sexual relation with my boyfriend even if I don’t know what is entailed by this expiation?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I pray that this message finds you well, insha’Allah.

If you broke your oath, you would need to pay the expiation which is: (a) to feed ten poor people two meals each or (b) to clothe them decently. It would also be permitted to pay the monetary equivalent of either instead.

However, there is a bigger issue here, namely, sexual intercourse outside of a valid marriage contract. You need to immediately break off contact with the person, or if you are suitable for each other, consider marriage, and seek repentance for the mistake.

Please see: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance) and: Is There a Difference Between Breaking an Oath and Breaking a Promise?

And Allah alone knows best.


Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

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"Whoever guides someone to goodness will have a similar reward"-- The Prophet (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him)