What Is the Ruling if My Husband Pronounced a Few Divorces in the Past in Anger?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

Six years ago, I was in lochia (nifas), and my husband gave me a divorce. I don’t remember if it was once or twice, but after a week or two, he again gave me 4-6 divorces. I can swear that he said divorce 4-6 times, although I don’t know the prior and end conversation.

My husband doesn’t remember this at all. He can also swear to Allah that he doesn’t remember all this, not today or six years ago. He is having severe anger issues. He doesn’t realize what he says and does. He has hit the kids and me many times.

He angrily throws things to destroy them without realizing it and slams his hand on the wall. Now last month, he said in a fight that I am giving you divorce. This is the final. Call your father and family.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. I am sad to hear about your situation. Allah Most High rewards you for the difficulty that you are going through.

The divorce came into effect the very first time he pronounced it while you were in a state of lochia. Also, he pronounced a few more after a few weeks. And just recently, as you mention, he has pronounced it again.

Divorce in Anger

As you have mentioned, your husband gets angry and violent to extreme anger, and divorce will still come into effect. Although, he says he sometimes doesn’t remember.

Anger is of Three Types

• Early stages of anger are when one’s mind is sound and fully grasps and understands what one is saying; in such a case, divorce will be effected.
• Severely angry to the point of insanity, such one is unaware of what one is saying, etc., divorce will not come into effect in such a case.
• In between the above two states, one was extremely angry, not to the point of insanity, and was also aware of what he was saying. In this case, divorce will be affected.

[Hindiyya, Al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya; Al-Marghinani, Al-Hidaya; Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Can You Stay Together?

Unfortunately, as understood from your case, you cannot remain together unless you remarry someone else and consummate the marriage; it happens that you are separated again, and you both then agree to remarry. In such a case, the divorces allowed will return to zero under a new marriage contract.

Given the considerations in such cases, please consult reliable local scholars and a marriage counselor about the situation’s specifics.

I pray to Allah Most High that He facilitates ease for you both and destine what is good  for you, amin

Check these links:
Does Divorce Come in Effect in Extreme Anger? (seekersguidance.org)
A Little Fiqh on Controlling One’s Anger – SeekersGuidance
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani – “The Position of Islam on Divorce, Adoption and Abortion” – YouTube – SeekersGuidance
What are the Wisdoms behind the Rulings on Divorce in Islam? – SeekersGuidance
What is the Purpose of Marriage? A Muslim Perspective – Shaykh Faraz Rabbani – Bing video
divorce Archives – SeekersGuidance
How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? – SeekersGuidance

Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersAcademy (seekersguidance.org)

I pray this helps with your question.

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani     

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey.

He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled into an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and Alimiyyah sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan.

He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for a number of years. He has taught hifz of the Qur’an, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to both children and adults onsite and online extensively in UK and Ireland. He was teaching at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences.

He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His personal interest is the love of books and gardening.