Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
I can’t ask a local scholar because I am ashamed of my sins. I live in Europe and wanted to get married to a non-muslim. I knew that if he converted, it would be just for the sake of marriage. I tried leaving, but I was weak. So he did the shahada, only for the sake of marriage and acceptance of my family, and we got married. I pray and do dua and try to influence him to convert in his heart. And I also seek forgiveness from Allah. I was self-centered and have sinned in many ways.
My question is, how do I deal with this situation? Because even if I get forgiven for lying regarding the shahada, it feels like every day of being married to him is a new sin that I am committing.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.
As Muslims, believing men and women, we must establish each family as a solid unit built on faith, love, worship, and morals. Observing worship, especially together as a family, guarantees the survival of the marriage and the family. Different beliefs would not teach the same guiding principles to build a family. If a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, the marriage is invalid in Islam, and the relationship remains illicit.
It is challenging to control matters of the heart, and you have ended up marrying a non-Muslim man. I can now advise you to be patient and have faith in Allah Most High; you should now mutually agree to move and separate, giving yourself time and him as well, so he may properly contemplate embracing Islam.
You will have to speak to him and get some reliable righteous person involved to convince him to accept Islam if you both want to remain with each other. Otherwise, separate amicably, with respect, especially if you have no children.
Marriage is not just about getting a husband or wife, but someone to share your life with, this world and the Next.
I pray Allah Most High softens his heart, and he turns to accept Islam convincingly and happily, amin.
Read the links below for a deeper understanding of the matter:
- Why Is a Muslim Woman Not Allowed to Marry a Non-Muslim Man?
- Marrying a non-Muslim Man Archives
- Can a Muslim Woman Marry a Non-Muslim Man?
- A Guide to Marriage: SeekersGuidance Reader
I pray this helps with your question.
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.