Do I Bear the Sin of My Mother’s Apostasy?

Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Question

My mother left Islam and said it was because of my practices, like wearing trousers above the ankle, praying for a long time, lowering my gaze, and giving up music.

I feel responsible because I did not always treat her well. I feel sad and lost. Have I sinned, and am I responsible for her leaving the faith?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

We understand how heavy this feels for you, and we pray that Allah eases your burden.

You are not responsible for your mother’s decision, and following your faith was never wrong.

Allah (Most High) says: “No soul burdened with sin will bear the burden of another.” [Quran 35:18] Guidance is not something you control: “You surely cannot guide whoever you like, but it is Allah Who guides whoever He wills.” [Quran 28:56]

This verse was revealed to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) about his beloved uncle, who did not accept the faith. If even the Prophet could not give faith to someone, your mistakes did not take it away from your mother.

If you truly fell short in how you treated her, ask Allah for forgiveness for that. Your repentance is sufficient for your own actions and does not extend to what she decided.

What to Do Now

Your mother’s rights over you have not changed. Be the best son you can be: help her, speak kindly to her, visit her, give her gifts, and avoid arguing with her.

Showing her patient and respectful love is the most powerful way to invite her back to Allah, and the Quran commands this even if parents oppose the faith [Quran 31:15].

Also, pray for her guidance at night, because hearts are in Allah’s hands.

May Allah bring your family back together in faith and give you peace in your heart.

And Allah (Most High) knows best.

[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Related Answers

• Children and Sinful Parents – Explains the principle that no person bears another person’s sin, while also discussing how parents’ actions can affect their children.
• How Much of the Child’s Sin Will the Parent Bear? – Examines whether parents share in their children’s sins and emphasizes individual accountability before Allah.
• Can I Distance Myself from My Mother Who Left Us When We Were Young? – Addresses maintaining family ties with a mother who practices kufr while protecting one’s own faith and well-being.

Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar Shaykh Taha Karaan (Allah have mercy on him), where he taught.

Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Shaykh Muhammad Awama, Shaykh Muhammad Hasan Hitu, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.

He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has been the Director of the Discover Islam Centre, and for six years, he has been the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.

Shaykh Irshaad has fifteen years of teaching experience at some of the leading Islamic institutes in Cape Town). He is currently building an Islamic podcast, education, and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and has completed his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy Prophetic living and fitness.