Should I Ask My Wife to Work for Our Financial Goals or Rely on Destiny?
Answered by Ustada Shazia Ahmad
Question
What is the Islamic perspective on prioritizing my wife’s airport job (which includes day, night and weekend shifts) for financial stability and finding a new house near our family? At the same time, we have young children who naturally need more time with their mother. Is it more pleasing to Allah for her to work for our finances or for us to trust in destiny and rely on her online job, considering pay based on task completion but no guarantee of tasks being available for many days and therefore much lower pay than a regular job? My wife has explored other income avenues, but it hasn’t worked out yet. I seek advice on my role in this as I feel guilty that she has to work when we have young children (2 and 5)who need her more than me.
Answer
Children
Abdullah ibn `Umar said that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler who is in charge of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. A servant is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.” [Bukhari & Muslim]
Goals and priorities
You have to sit back and decide what your priorities are in life. How important is the mother’s presence to your children’s upbringing? How important is that vis-a-vis your financial goals? Since you’ve asked my opinion, I believe that the upbringing of children is exponentially more important than reaching one’s financial goals and the love, training, education, and role modelling that are given in the early years cannot be undermined for any reason. The idea of putting money before upbringing is beyond me. Contemplate the idea that children are your wealth.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Indeed there is a fitna (trial) for every umma, and the fitna for my umma is wealth.” [Tirmidhi]
Please pray istikhara about what to do and ask Allah to guide you to that which pleases Him and that which helps you fulfill your obligations to your children and wife. Ask Allah to show you how to do the obligatory over the voluntary and bring baraka into your life by accomplishing bigger goals over smaller ones. May Allah facilitate all that you seek
Parenting in Islam
[Ustada] Shazia Ahmad
