Can You Help Me Get My Mind Off of Who My Future Husband Will Be?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad


I’m a Muslim doctor, 28 years old, unmarried, and I’m busy with my studies, due to which I can’t get married this year. But I constantly struggle with thinking about my future husband, due to which I can’t concentrate on my salah and studies. All of this started from the day I read a romantic novel. How should I redirect myself? Please guide and help me from failing in my deen. This is taking a toll on my mental health and religion.


Thank you for your question. I urge you to stay away from romantic novels as they completely distract the mind and can cause fantasizing, daydreaming, sinful behavior, and other useless things that take one away from the real world and the real focus.


Marriage is a sunna, and I am pleased that you plan to marry. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Marriage is part of my sunna, and whoever does not follow my sunna has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast, for it will diminish his desire.” [Ibn Maja]


I urge you to take the prophetic advice to heart. To regain focus on your prayer, try the following tips:

-Du`a and prayer at tahajjud time
-Regular devotional act of dhikr
-Spend time with good religious friends
-Exercise in fresh air
-Spend more time at the mosque or Islamic events
-Take free courses to increase your spiritual knowledge
-Take up a beneficial hobby or pick up a new skill
-Don’t read or watch romance, but choose literature that benefits you
-Please look into marriage, as now may be a good time to marry


Please say this du`a daily:

اللّهُـمَّ أَعِـنِّي عَلـى ذِكْـرِكَ وَشُكْـرِك وَحُسْـنِ عِبـادَتِـك

O Allah, help me to remember You, to give You thanks, and to perform Your worship in the best manner. [Abu Dawud]

Please see these links as well:

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.