How Can I Stop Feeling Embarrassed by My Husband’s Obesity?

Question

How do I stop feeling embarrassed and ashamed of my husband’s weight gain when going out in public? It is a constant stressor, and I am always afraid of people noticing it and perhaps having pity on me. I feel relieved when he wears loose clothing outside because it’s less noticeable. How do I stop caring about what others think?

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for taking steps to do what is right, and may you not give what others think a second thought.

Worry

It won’t benefit you at all to think about what others might or might not be thinking about your husband. You know your husband’s good qualities, you love him, and you know that beauty is more than skin-deep. Being embarrassed by your husband’s weight makes me think that you need to work on your relationship and that perhaps he deserves someone who loves him for who he is. Please change your negativity into positivity and your embarrassment into gratitude, lest Allah take this blessing away from you.

Expel the thoughts

When these thoughts come to you, I advise you to say “A`udhu biLlahi min as-Shaytan ar-Rajeem” and don’t let the Devil play with your head. Please remember this hadith: Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather He looks at your hearts and actions.” [Muslim]

Please see these links as well:

• Is It Impermissible (Haram) to Worry About What Others Think?
• How Can I Overcome My Negative Thoughts?

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.