How Do I Approach the Situation Where My Wife Deceived Me Regarding Her Age and Past?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
My wife and her family deceived me about her age and past during our marriage talks, even though I made my boundaries clear. Now, they insist they did nothing wrong and say this is common. How should I approach this situation?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question. I am sorry to hear this has happened to you.
It was wrong of your wife and her family to do this and now insist on doing nothing wrong. Allah (Most High) in the Quran guides us to external mediation if a marital dispute cannot be resolved.
Framework of Marital Dispute
There are many ways to resolve a marital dispute within the framework of Islam. Any permissible means, including spiritual and marital counseling, should be pursued. See the link below for a detailed answer.
A Quranic Solution
Allah (Most High) says: “And should you fear a rift between man and wife, send an arbiter from his kin and an arbiter from hers; And if both truly desire to settle between the couple, Allah will restore harmony between them; Verily Allah was ever all-knowing, all-aware.” [Quran, 4:35]
The verse above encourages external mediation between the spouses, especially if they cannot resolve their disputes respectfully. Allah (Most High) encourages the couple to appoint wise, God-conscious mediators from their respective families along with local reliable scholars, Allah-fearing practicing elders, and fellow Muslims from the community. The verse also indicates that the couple should “desire reconciliation,” and if both above are in order, then Allah will restore harmony between them. Allah knows best.
I pray Allah guides every dimension of our lives to please Him. I also pray that this marital indifference described is resolved swiftly. Amin.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. In sha Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.
Related
- Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
- Should I Stay with a Man That I Married in Haste?
Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersAcademy (seekersguidance.org)?
I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.
