How Should I Go About Marrying the Man from My Past?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I am 27 years old. I have found my way back to Islam and want to become closer to Allah. I have been with a man for six years, and I am no longer a virgin, and I’ve lived with him for the last 3 years. I know I have sinned and alhamdulillah I have begun to pray again and I am repenting every day wishing I never made such a life for myself. He converted to Islam a few years ago and we want to be together in a halal way? How?

Answer

Thank you for your question. I am so very pleased that you have turned your life around and that you want to marry according to Islam. May Allah continue to shower you with His blessings.

Marriage

It is perfectly permissible for you to marry this man with your father’s permission. You should ask two witnesses to join and have a nikah performed with your father acting as your guardian. You may ask an imam to conduct a proper nikah to ensure that the dowry is agreed upon and that a marriage contract is signed.

Please see these links for details:
What Are the Minimum Steps That Must Be Taken for a Marriage to Be Valid?
What is Katbul Kitab?

Repentance

You have already repented, and I encourage you to continue on this path of goodness and change yourself continuously. Turn to Allah with your whole being. Commit to learning Islam correctly; there are many free courses here that you can take. Commit to praying on time, reading a bit of the Qur’an daily, and spending time with pious friends who inspire you to be your better self. Split your daily routine into parts of worship, study, work, and health, and use the following resources to start your newly, religious, married life.

Please see the following links:
Best Order to Study the Step One Courses
Ramadan 2020 Reminders | Episode 20: Ten Steps to Allah – 01- Leaving Whim by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Courses
Marriage In Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriage
Key to Successful Muslim Marriages: Practical Lessons that Explain the Prophetic Spirit of Marriage

May Allah give you and your future spouse the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.