Sexual Urge when Spouse Works Overseas

Ustadah Raidah Shah Idil is asked about how to control one’s sexual desires and the urge to masturbate when one’s spouse is away for long periods.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I am a wife and mother living in India, while my husband works in Saudi Arabia. I am getting very sexually frustrated because my husband will be living overseas for two years. I love my husband deeply but am finding it so difficult to live apart from him. Is it okay for me to masturbate?

Answer:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.

Masturbation

Dear sister, you are in a difficult situation. However, please know that masturbation is sinful.

Is Masturbation Sinful? How Do I Stop?

Marriage

It is far better for you, your husband and your children to be together. This is, unfortunately, not always possible. In the meantime, I encourage you to fast, exercise, occupy yourself with good, and visit your husband, if finances permit.

Prayer

“O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient.” [Qur’an, 2:153]

Strive to perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah for ease. Remember that your reward is commensurate with your effort, and nothing is lost on Allah.

Please see How Can I Repent From Masturbation? and Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long.

Wassalam,

Raidah

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.