What Are the Appropriate Boundaries Between Men and Women?

Answered By Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad

Question

What are the appropriate boundaries in interactions between men and women?

Answer

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. Blessings and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, his Family, and his Companions.

Allah created humans as male and female, each with their own characteristics and attributes, and through them, life is completed and the world is populated.

Islam has established rules, etiquettes, and guidelines that elevate the relationship between the sexes to the highest levels of purity, chastity, and refinement. These rules consider natural inclinations and provide a lawful way to satisfy desires—through marriage—thereby protecting honor, eliminating immorality, and promoting chastity.

One of the important guidelines is the prohibition of unrestricted mixing and seclusion between non-mahram (unmarriageable) men and women. Islam commands modest dressing, lowering the gaze, and limiting conversation between men and women to what is necessary without engaging in a soft or flirtatious tone. These are fundamental principles that apply to everyone.

As for interactions between men and women for legitimate reasons, such as work or education, it is permissible as long as both men and women adhere to Islamic etiquettes in terms of dress, speech, and conduct.

However, if a woman is immodestly dressed, softens her voice, engages in flirtation or joking, or behaves in a way that decent nature rejects, this is forbidden and leads to many evils and corruption.

Here are key guidelines to adhere to:

Lowering the Gaze

Allah (Most High) says: “(O Prophet!) Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do.” [Quran, 24:30]

Avoiding Seclusion with a Non-Mahram Woman

Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“A man should not be alone with a woman unless there is a mahram with her.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Avoiding Situations that May Lead to Temptation

Abu Sa‘id al-Khudri reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“The world is sweet and green, and indeed Allah is making you succeed one another in it, so observe how you act. Fear the world and fear women, for the first trial of the Children of Israel was due to women.” [Muslim]

Usama Ibn Zayd reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“I have not left behind me any trial more harmful to men than women.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Avoiding Physical Contact with Non-Mahram Women

Shaking hands with a non-mahram woman is forbidden, as it can lead to prohibited actions. Ma‘qil Ibn Yasar reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than to touch a woman who is not lawful for him” [Tabarani].

Allah has instructed the wives of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) with high standards of conduct, and the women of the Muslim community should follow their example. Allah (Most High) says:

“Do not be overly effeminate in speech (with men) or those with sickness in their hearts may be tempted, but speak in a moderate tone.” [Quran, 33:32]

This is because a heart inclined towards sin cannot resist even the slightest cause leading to it, such as a soft tone. Therefore, when it is a means to a prohibited end, it is also forbidden.

Women are also prohibited from doing things that attract men’s attention, such as wearing perfume or other adornments meant to be exclusive for their husbands. This is clearly stated in the hadith: Abu Musa al-Ash‘ari reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“Any woman who applies perfume and passes by people so that they can smell her fragrance is an adulteress, and every eye is an adulterous.” [Ibn Khuzayma; Ibn Hibban; Hakim; Ahmad]

Therefore, every Muslim man and woman must adhere to Allah’s commands and prohibitions to find happiness in this life and the hereafter and to meet their Lord with a sound heart. May Allah grant us success in following His laws and applying them. Indeed, He is the All-Hearing, the Answerer of prayers.

[Shaykh] Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad

Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad, born in Damascus, Syria, in 1965, pursued his Islamic studies in the mosques and institutes of Damascus. A graduate of the Islamic University of Medina in 1985, he holds a Ph.D. in Islamic Studies from Bahauddin Zakariya University in Pakistan.

He has extensive experience developing curricula and enhancing the teaching of various academic courses, including conducting intensive courses. Shaykh Awad has taught Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Quranic sciences, the history of legislation, inheritance laws, and more at several institutes and universities such as Al-Furqan Institute for Islamic Sciences and Majma‘ al-Fath al-Islami in Damascus.

He is a lecturer at the Sultan Muhammad al-Fatih Waqf University in Istanbul, teaching various Arabic and Islamic subjects, and teaches at numerous Islamic institutes in Istanbul. Shaykh Awad is a member of the Association of Syrian Scholars, a founding member of the Zayd bin Thabit Foundation, a member of the Syrian Scholars Association, and a member of the Academic Council at the Iman Center for Teaching the Sunna and Quran.

Among his teachers from whom he received Ijazat are his father, Shaykh Muhammad Muhiyiddin Awad, Shaykh Muhiyiddin al-Kurdi, Shaykh Muhammad Karim Rajih, Shaykh Usama al-Rifai, Shaykh Ayman Suwaid, Shaykh Ahmad al-Qalash, Shaykh Muhammad Awwama, and Shaykh Mamduh Junayd.