Are Good Deeds Accepted Even If One Disrespects Their Parents?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I know Allah will not accept the salah of a person who stares angrily at his parents. Now, what should one do so the salah be accepted again? I have very toxic parents, and I get angry at them often. What deeds won’t be accepted if I disobey them, misbehave with them, stare angrily at them, or commit any related sin?
Thank you for your question. I am very sorry for the toxic relationship you have with your parents, and I pray that it improves over time and that you all heal from this, coming out of it more robust and closer to one another.
Allah Most High has told us in His book, “For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honor your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never tell them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully. And be humble with them out of mercy, and pray, “My Lord! Be merciful to them as they raised me when I was young.” [Quran, 17:23-24]
What you mention about one’s prayer not being accepted is a saying of Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq, a scholar of the eighth century; it is not attributed to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace). Instead, the hadiths and verses from the Quran regarding disrespecting one’s parents are enough to understand the gravity of it. There is no particular good deed that is not accepted if one disrespects one’s parents. That said, one should fear that none of one’s good deeds are accepted when one has sinned and doesn’t repent.
As such, repentance is required, and one should take steps to change one’s behavior with one’s parents. Find solace in this Quranic verse, and remember Allah’s words: “Say: My servants who have wronged yourselves, never despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” [Quran, 39:53]
And the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “If you were to sin until your sins reach the heaven, then you were to repent, your repentance would be accepted.” [Ibn Majah]
Please see this link on the conditions of repentance: The Conditions Of Repentance
Please review the details of goodness to one’s parents below. I pray that you find inspiration regarding your treatment of them and deal with the issues causing so much anger. May Allah also provide you with children who treat you well. May Allah help us all fulfill the rights of our parents, repent for how we treated them in the past, and I pray that Allah facilitates for all of us to be good to them in the future.
Kindly check these links:
Goodness to Parents – A Reader
How Do I Deal With My Toxic Parents Who Give Me Constant Stress?
How Do We Deal With Parents Who Emotionally Abuse Their Children?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.