Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
I was abused by my parents. They’re emboldened by their status in Islam to beat their kids and believe the Quran allows it. Is beating your child a sin? What is the punishment for it? Where does it say so? Please, I need hadith or ayah that specifically addresses parents, not ones that address generally. I found a hadith that says Allah’s anger lies in the parent’s anger, and it makes me think that their actions don’t qualify to be a sin. It baffles me; that treatment towards parents, and spouses, both in etiquette, and action is addressed but not towards children, even though it’s not an uncommon practice in all cultures and often brushed aside. I can’t pray without thinking I’m disregarded with contempt and that He’ll take my abusers’ side on the Day of Judgment.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.
Beating one’s child is a sin. The punishment for specific cruelty is hidden many a times, and is mentioned in general terms. What you need to remember is Allah Most High is watching, and all our deeds and works are recorded, and we will be held accountable. He will judge, whether a punishment for a wrong action is mentioned or not.
Respectful to Elders, Merciful to Children
Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “Whoever does not show mercy to our young ones, or acknowledge the rights of our elders, is not one of us.” [Musnad Ahmad]
Jarir ibn ‘Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “He who does not show mercy to people, Allah will not show mercy to him.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Allah Hates Oppression
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace,) quoted Allah Most High Himself to have said, “Truly, I have made it forbidden on myself to wrong anyone; and I have made it severely forbidden for you! So do not oppress each other!” [Muslim]
Injustice Will Be Darkness on Judgment Day
Ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, oppression will be darkness on the Day of Resurrection.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
It is unfortunate that you were abused by your parents, and we deeply and sincerely sympathize with you. Your questioning of Allah was probably due to thinking that was the decree of Allah Most High and that being your fate. That is not so. Allah Most High never decrees abuse. Allah’s Knowledge is perfect and absolute. He knows ahead of time what is to happen, not that He made it happen. Looking back may not assist you in any way, especially when it is not of your own doing. It will only bring grief and agony.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.
- Abusive parents Archives – SeekersGuidance
- A Traumatic Childhood: Turning to Allah in Difficult Times – SeekersGuidance
- How Should I Handle Abusive Parents? – SeekersGuidance
- How Do We Deal With Parents Who Emotionally Abuse Their Children? – SeekersGuidance
- Dealing Problems With Abusive Father – SeekersGuidance
- A Reader on OCD and Waswasa (Baseless Misgivings) (seekersguidance.org)
- Purification of the Heart for Youth: Diseases of the Heart and Their Cure – YouTube
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.