How Can a Muslim Gain the Respect of Others?

Answered by Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad

Question

How can a Muslim gain the respect of others?

Answer

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of all worlds. Peace and blessings be upon the Messenger sent as a mercy to the worlds, our Master and Prophet, Muhammad, and his Family and Companions.

Allah created human beings as social creatures who live among their kind, forming connections and bonds with others. He has guided us to uphold the virtue of respect, as indicated in the Quran:

“Speak kindly to people.” [Quran, 2:83]

People naturally crave acknowledgment, appreciation, encouragement, and care. The Quran and the Prophetic teachings have highlighted several social etiquettes that help a person earn the love and respect of others:

Treating People with Consistent Values

A polite, kind, and generous person does not change their behavior depending on whom they are dealing with. They are respectful to everyone. Allah says:

“O believers! Do not let some (men) ridicule others; they may be better than them, nor let (some) women ridicule other women; they may be better than them. Do not defame one another, nor call each other by offensive nicknames. How evil it is to act rebelliously after having faith! And whoever does not repent, it is they who are the (true) wrongdoers.” [Quran, 49:11]

Such a person honors everyone, remains patient with all, tries to understand others, and works to help them. This is why they are respected and appreciated by all.

Having Good Opinions about Others and Avoiding Harmful Actions like Backbiting and Spying

Allah (Most High) says:

“O believers! Avoid many suspicions, (for) indeed, some suspicions are sinful. And do not spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of their dead brother? You would despise that! And fear Allah. Surely Allah is (the) Accepter of Repentance, Most Merciful.” [Quran, 49:12]

Humility

Humility is an effective behavior for winning hearts and minds. Every prophet was humble, and Allah instructed His Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) and all Muslims that humility is the key to attracting hearts and bringing them closer, while harshness and arrogance are causes of alienation and distance. Allah (Most High) says:

“It is out of Allah’s mercy that you (O Prophet) have been lenient with them. Had you been cruel or hard-hearted, they would have certainly abandoned you.” [Quran, 3:159]

Allah praises the humble and condemns the arrogant, promising them severe punishment. Allah (Most High) says:

“You will surely find the most bitter towards the believers to be the Jews and polytheists and the most gracious to be those who call themselves Christian. That is because there are priests and monks among them and because they are not arrogant.” [Quran, 5:82]

Allah (Most High) also says:

“And be gracious to the believers who follow you.” [Quran, 26:215]

Honesty and Avoiding Lies

Scholars have defined honesty as “the alignment of what the tongue speaks with what is concealed in the heart and conscience.”

Lying, which is the opposite of honesty, is a form of social deceit. Honesty is a fundamental Islamic value, and truthfulness in speech leads to truthfulness in action, resulting in a sound society, stronger relationships, and increased love and harmony among people.

On the contrary, if lying becomes widespread, it brings with it corruption, decay, and stagnation, weakening society and diminishing its stature. This is because lying leads to immorality. ‘Abdullah Ibn Mas‘ud (Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“Indeed, truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. A person will continue to speak the truth until they are recorded by Allah as a truthful person. And indeed, lying leads to immorality, and immorality leads to the Hellfire. A person will continue to tell lies until they are recorded by Allah as a liar.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Cooperation in Goodness and Piety, and Avoidance of Sin and Aggression

Allah (Most High) says:

“Cooperate with one another in goodness and righteousness, and do not cooperate in sin and transgression. And be mindful of Allah. Surely Allah is severe in punishment.” [Quran, 5:2]

Fulfilling Trusts

Allah (Most High) says:

“Indeed, Allah commands you to return trusts to their rightful owners; and when you judge between people, judge with fairness. What a noble commandment from Allah to you! Surely Allah is All-Hearing, All-Seeing.” [Quran, 4:58]

A society where trust is lost is one where safety is compromised, rights are neglected, and diseases of the heart such as hatred, envy, and anger spread, leading to widespread animosity and disdain among people.

Kind Treatment of All People

This includes greeting those we meet with peace. Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“The rights of a Muslim over another Muslim are five: responding to the greeting of peace, visiting the sick, following the funeral, accepting invitations, and responding to the one who sneezes.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Smiling in the Face of Others

Abu Dharr (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“Your smile in the face of your brother is charity.” [Ibn Hibban; Tirmidhi; Bazzar]

Apologizing When Wrong and Accepting Others’ Apologies

Apologizing is not a sign of weakness, foolishness, or naivety, as some might think; rather, it is a demonstration of strength, confidence, purity, and love. Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“Charity does not decrease wealth, and Allah increases the honor of a servant who forgives, and no one humbles themselves for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises them in status.” [Muslim; Ibn Khuzayma; Ibn Hibban; Tirmidhi]

Additionally, accepting excuses and forgiving others is emphasized in the Quran, where Allah says:

“But whoever pardons and seeks reconciliation, then their reward is with Allah. He certainly does not like the wrongdoers.” [Quran, 42:40]

And He (Most High) also says:

“…Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love to be forgiven by Allah? And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Quran, 24:22]

As the poet says:

Accept the excuses of those who come to you with apologies,
Whether they were truthful or deceitful in what they said.

Whoever pleases you with their outward appearance,
Has honored you even if they disobey you in secret.

Abdullah Ibn Mubarak said: “A believer is one who seeks excuses for his brothers, while a hypocrite is one who seeks their faults.

The one who is impressed with himself
Is like the one standing on the top of a mountain,

He sees people as small,
Yet, in their eyes, he remains small as well.

Avoiding Arrogance and Not Looking Down on Others

A person who is arrogant and looks down upon others may seem as if they are superior, like someone climbing a mountain who sees others below as small. However, in the eyes of others, that person is also seen as small. It has been aptly said:

“The arrogant person is like someone climbing a mountain; he sees people as small, but they see him as small too.”

Conclusion

In conclusion, one of the most significant ways to earn the love and respect of others is by striving to attain the love of Allah (Most High). All the previously mentioned points are pathways to achieving this. Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“When Allah loves a servant, He calls out to Jibril, saying: ‘Allah loves so-and-so; O Jibril, love him.’ So Jibril loves him, and then Jibril announces in the heavens: ‘Allah has loved so-and-so, therefore you should love him.’ Thus, the inhabitants of the heavens love him, and acceptance is established for him on earth.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Book Recommendation

Please refer to this book for more details on this topic, “50 Sham‘a li Ida’t Durubikum” by Bakar.

We ask Allah to make us among those whom He loves and who love Him, for He is the Generous and Benevolent.

[Shaykh] Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad

Shaykh Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad, born in Damascus, Syria, in 1965, pursued his Islamic studies in the mosques and institutes of Damascus. A graduate of the Islamic University of Medina in 1985, he holds a Ph.D. in Islamic Studies from Bahauddin Zakariya University in Pakistan.

He has extensive experience developing curricula and enhancing the teaching of various academic courses, including conducting intensive courses. Shaykh Awad has taught Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Quranic sciences, the history of legislation, inheritance laws, and more at several institutes and universities such as Al-Furqan Institute for Islamic Sciences and Majma‘ al-Fath al-Islami in Damascus.

He is a lecturer at the Sultan Muhammad al-Fatih Waqf University in Istanbul, teaching various Arabic and Islamic subjects, and teaches at numerous Islamic institutes in Istanbul. Shaykh Awad is a member of the Association of Syrian Scholars, a founding member of the Zayd bin Thabit Foundation, a member of the Syrian Scholars Association, and a member of the Academic Council at the Iman Center for Teaching the Sunna and Quran.

Among his teachers from whom he received Ijazat are his father, Shaykh Muhammad Muhiyiddin Awad, Shaykh Muhiyiddin al-Kurdi, Shaykh Muhammad Karim Rajih, Shaykh Usama al-Rifai, Shaykh Ayman Suwaid, Shaykh Ahmad al-Qalash, Shaykh Muhammad Awwama, and Shaykh Mamduh Junayd.