What Are the Guidelines When Interacting with Non-practicing Relatives?
Shafi'i Fiqh
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
As a Muslim, keeping friendships with our family and relatives is essential. But what are the guidelines when they are not pious? I know that Muslims should avoid socializing with sinful people and people who commit major sins every day, whether publicly or privately. Also, my brother is an ‘alim and told me that the ‘Umdat al-Salik (Reliance of the Traveller) cannot always be used when finding out matters related to Fiqh, etc. because it’s not a fatwa book.
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincerity and for seeking Allah’s pleasure first.
Good Company
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend.” [Abu Dawud]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of a musk and of the one (iron-smith) blowing bellows, and the owner of a musk would either offer you free of charge or you would buy it from him or you would smell its pleasant odor. And so far as one who blows the bellows is concerned, he would either burn your clothes or you shall have to smell its repugnant smell. [Bukhari; Muslim]
Corrupt People
The upshot that I learned from my teacher, Shaykh Faraz Rabbani, who said:
A very good breakdown given by some of the scholars to consider is that good company is of two types:
- Company of choice.
- Company of responsibility.
One’s company of choice should be people of religion, mindfulness of Allah, uprightness, and good character.
But one has the company of responsibility–especially of the family–that we must love, care about, and keep company with in good ways.
Even if they aren’t religious, one can uphold their company in good ways through three things:
- Good intentions – interact with purpose, seeking the pleasure of Allah.
- Good character- uphold good character in one’s dealings
- Keeping the company in a good way – be proactive, interact in good ways, and keep away from anything prohibited or questionable, but with good character.
Finally, keep turning to Allah in supplication and remembrance, and uphold your prayer, regardless of what others do, with wisdom.
‘Umdat al-Salik
It says on our website for the course on this text: “‘Umdat al-Salik wa’ Uddat al-Nasik (Reliance of the Traveller and Tools of the Worshipper) is an indispensable text, especially for Shafi’i students of Sacred Law because it comprehensively summarizes the main views in the Shafi’i School. The author (may Allah have mercy on him) thoroughly covers the entire spectrum of Fiqh in systematic order. He provides a balance of detail so that the text, though not elementary enough to be called beginner-level, is neither too loaded nor too challenging to be categorized as advanced.” The Reliance of the Traveller doesn’t answer all fiqh questions; one must look to more giant books for more detail.
See more details here from our course on this text:
Please see these links as well:
- How to Avoid Cutting Ties With People and Bad Company at the Same Time?
- How Can I Convince My Friend to Avoid Bad Company?
- What Should I Do With Friends Who Swear and Backbite?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, Fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
