How Do Repent Properly from Sex Video Chats Now That I’m Getting Married?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Around two years ago, I had sex video chats with many girls in the past. Usually, they did what I told them to do. I never showed my body, but they showed theirs, and only one time I was “touching my private part” but I never showed that I was. I deeply regret it. I’m about to get married now. Did I commit zina by doing this online sex video chat? Is this considered a major sin? Is it worse than pornography, or is it considered the same kind of sin? And what do I have to do so Allah can forgive me?
Answer
May Allah Most High reward you for your sincere regret. I advise you to transform yourself and devote yourself to Allah Most High with all you have; that is the best kind of repentance.
Kind of sin
What you committed was not zina, as zina means having intercourse with a woman before marriage. After my research, I could not conclude whether your sin was major or minor, though repeated minor sins do take the ruling of a major sin.
It says in the Reliance of the Traveller: o24.3 Nor is testimony acceptable from someone who: […] (2) persists in a lesser sin (O: because it then becomes an enormity, as opposed to when one does not strive therein. A lesser sin is one that has not been severely threatened against in an unequivocal text);
Don’t despair
Don’t despair over Allah’s mercy, for Allah Most High has told us in the Quran: “Say: My servants who have wronged yourselves, never despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” [Quran, 39:53]
Tawba
Repent wholly during auspicious times and days, turn to your Lord, pray on time, read the Quran daily, increase your Islamic knowledge, give charity regularly, and live your life intending to help this Muslim umma. Make du`a at dawn that Allah Most High help you transform into the best you can be. After repenting, don’t obsess about your past and put it behind you.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.“ [Tirmidhi]
Please see these links as well:
A Reader on Pornography and Masturbation
A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)
Why Are Some Sins Major and Others Considered Minor?
Breaking the Two Desires On-demand course and reader
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
