Is It Permissible for Spouses to Give Each Other a Hickey or to Bite Each Other If It Is Consensual?
Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Question
Is it permissible for spouses to give each other a hickey or to bite each other if it is consensual?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate. May Allah alleviate our difficulties and guide us to what pleases Him. Amin.
If it is done consensually and without causing pain, then acts of affection like this are encouraged in a lawful marriage as it is part of foreplay, which is Sunna, and Allah knows best.
Performing foreplay before intercourse is recommended. [al-Mawsu‘a al-Fiqhiyya al-Kuwaitiyya]
In his work, “Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations,” Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari nicely said the following:
“Engaging in foreplay is a vital constituent of a happy marriage, and as a consequence, it should never be disregarded. Both spouses should take the means to arouse one another, as it will result in a more pleasurable union.” [Kawthari, Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations]
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) is reported to have advised against having intercourse without foreplay.
Sexual Fulfillment
Jabir bin ‘Abdullah narrates, saying, “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) forbade intercourse before foreplay.” [Khatib, Tarikh Baghdad: the chain was deemed sound by Dhahabi]
This prohibition is because a woman needs to be aroused to attain the sexual fulfillment that intercourse is meant to fulfill. Without foreplay, she may not feel fulfilled, leading to harm.
I pray this is of benefit and that Allah guides us all.
[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar Shaykh Taha Karaan (Allah have mercy on him), where he taught.
Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Shaykh Muhammad Awama, Shaykh Muhammad Hasan Hitu, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.
He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has been the Director of the Discover Islam Centre, and for six years, he has been the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.
Shaykh Irshaad has fifteen years of teaching experience at some of the leading Islamic institutes in Cape Town. He is currently building an Islamic podcast, education, and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and has completed his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy Prophetic living and fitness.
