Is It Permissible for Me to Move Out of the House with My Mother?

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your stress and pain as no one should have to live in an unIslamic, chaotic and toxic environment.

Moving Out

It is permissible to move out with your mother to escape this abusive environment, but I don’t know if that is practical or possible. Sometimes, staying together with patience is better and sometimes leaving is better. Does your mother want to leave? I advise that you take other steps before moving out. Try having others speak to him, make du`a daily at tahajjud time, give charity with the intention that your father improves and take steps to eliminate the jinn if it is jinn-related. Try not to cut him off. For now, you should protect your mother as best you can and help her find coping mechanisms. She can recite Quran, not engage him, help charities, volunteer, go for walks, or spend more time out of the home. Pray istikhara about your decisions and pray the Prayer of Need to fulfill the need for peace and tranquillity.

Turn to Allah

Be the absolute best that you can be, in your this-worldly affairs and in your religion. Educate yourself, exercise, eat healthily, gain sacred knowledge, commit to all of your religious obligations, supplicate to Allah before dawn, serve those around you, pray for your parents, and adorn yourself with good character. Give charity for the Prophet told us this, “Give charity without delay, for it stands in the way of calamity.” [Tirmidhi] Be sure to focus well on your words and deeds because the cycle can continue when you have your own family, without you realizing it. Take time for your self-care as well.

Find solace in this hadith: The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “There are three whose supplication is not rejected: The fasting person when he breaks his fast, the just leader, and the supplication of the oppressed person; Allah raises it up above the clouds and opens the gates of heaven to it. And the Lord says: ‘By My might, I shall surely aid you, even if it should be after a while.’” [Tirmidhi]

A way out

Keep your hopes up and know that Allah’s promise is true in the Quran: “And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.” [Quran, 65:2-3]

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May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustada] Shazia Ahmad

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.