How to Inspire a Love for Prayer in Children?

Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and blessings and peace be upon our Master Muhammad and his family and companions.

Short Answer

There are many methods and steps to encourage children to love prayer, varying according to the child’s age and mental level. Among the most important methods are a practical approach through imitation and emulation of parents and ensuring that instruction in prayer is loving and gentle, especially up to the age of ten.

Other effective methods include encouragement and motivation through words and deeds, both material and moral, and fostering a spirit of competition and challenge among children.

It’s also crucial to educate them about prayer and its virtues according to the child’s age and understanding.

Finally, I say that children’s love for their religion and adherence to its practices in the future greatly depends on how parents behave and their wisdom in training and teaching them from a young age, as every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.

Detailed Answer

Prayer is the pillar of the religion and the second pillar of Islam after the testimony of faith. Ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Islam is based on five things: the testimony that there is no god but God and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger, the observance of the prayer, the payment of zakat, the Pilgrimage, and the fast during Ramadan.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

And as the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The head of (all) the matter is Islam and its pillar is the prayer, and its hump is Jihad.” [Tirmidhi]

And what indicates the high status of prayer in Islam is its frequent mention and the command to establish it in the Quran, often associated with the mention of faith. For instance, Allah says at the beginning of Surat al-Baqara:

”Those who believe in the unseen and establish prayer and spend out of what We have provided for them.” [Quran, 2:3]

And in the beginning of Surat al-Anfal:

”Those who establish prayer and spend out of what We have provided for them, those are the true believers indeed.” [Quran, 8:3-4]

Therefore, Allah Almighty and His Messenger have commanded the upbringing and training of children in prayer, as Allah says,

“And command your family to pray and be steadfast in it. We do not ask you for provision; We provide for you, and the (good) outcome is for (those of) righteousness.” [Quran, 20:132]

The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said, “Command your children to pray when they are seven years old, and discipline them for it when they are ten, and separate them in their beds.” [Abu Dawud]

Steps

After discussing the status of prayer in Islam and the obligation to command and train children in it, let us now talk about how to train children to love prayer through the following steps:

• The practical method;
• Command with gentleness;
• Age-appropriate encouragement;
• Educating children about prayer.

Step One: The Practical Method

This is the most important and effective approach, involving children following their parents’ example. When children see their parents’ commitment to prayer, they will naturally imitate them. This includes fathers inviting their discerning sons to the mosque and mothers asking their young daughters to pray with them at home.

Kurayb, the freed slave of Ibn ‘Abbas, reported that Ibn ‘Abbas narrated to him that he spent a night in the house of Maymuna, the mother of the believers, who was his mother’s sister. I lay down across the cushion, whereas the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and send him peace) and his wife lay down on it length-wise. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and send him peace) slept till midnight, or a little before midnight, or a little after midnight, and then got up and began to cast off the effects of sleep from his face by rubbing with his hand, and then recited the ten concluding verses of Surat Al ‘Imran. He then stood up near a hanging water-skin and, performed ablution well, and then stood up and prayed, Ibn ‘Abbas said:

“I also stood up and did the same, as the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and send him peace) had done, and then went to him and stood by his side. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and send him peace) placed his right hand upon my head and took hold of my right ear and twisted it, and then observed a pair of rak‘as, again a pair of rak‘as, again a pair of rak‘as, again a pair of rak‘as, again a pair of rak‘as, again a pair of rak‘as, and then observed Witr and then lay down till the Mu‘adhdhin came to him. He (the Holy Prophet) then stood up and observed two short rak‘as, and then went out (to the mosque) and observed the dawn prayer.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

Step Two: Command with Gentleness

Command (children to pray) with gentleness, tenderness, and love: As was the case with Sayyiduna Luqman and his son when he advised him with utmost tenderness and affection, saying, “O my son.”

Allah says, “O my dear son! Establish prayer, encourage what is good and forbid what is evil, and endure patiently whatever befalls you. Surely, this is a resolve to aspire to.” [Quran, 34:17]

Step Three: Age-Appropriate Encouragement

Encourage and entice according to the child’s age, which is one of the most important aspects:

• Encouragement can be verbal, such as expressing loving words like, “If you pray, Allah will love you more, as will the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him),” among other phrases.
• It can also be through physical affection like kissing, hugging, and stroking the head, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) did with Ibn Abbas, as mentioned in the above Hadith, ”(…) and then went to him (may Allah bless him and send him peace) and stood by his side. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and send him peace) placed his right hand upon my head and took hold of my right ear and twisted it, (…).” [Bukhari; Muslim]
• Material incentives like food, beneficial toys, or outings can be used.
• Foster a spirit of competition and challenge among children by setting up a program or daily schedule that includes prayer times, with points or grades for each obligatory prayer performed, followed by rewards based on the number of points at the end of the month. Then, add the regular Sunna prayers and manners at a higher level, and so on.

Step Four: Educating Children About Prayer

Educating about prayer, its virtues, significance, and the rewards for those who pray: It includes introducing its obligatory nature to a Muslim once they become an adult. The child should be prepared with the understanding that as they grow older, they will be accountable for it. Currently, they are in the stage of training and learning.

Important Considerations

All these steps can be implemented simultaneously, but their specifics and details vary according to the age of the child. For instance, for a discerning child, you can start by mentioning the virtue of prayer – that Allah Almighty loves him more, and so does the Prophet (peace be upon him) if he prays. The more he prays, the greater the love. As the child grows older, introduce him to some Hadiths and verses that highlight the virtue of prayer and its path to Paradise. After reaching puberty, educate them about the importance of prayer and its role in expiating sins and errors, and that if prayer is correct, other deeds will be too.

As narrated by Abu Hurayra, may Allah be pleased with him; the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Indeed, the first thing a servant will be accountable for on the Day of Judgment is his prayer. If it is sound, then he has succeeded and prospered, but if it is corrupt, then he has failed and lost. If anything is lacking from his obligatory prayers, the Lord, Glorious, and Exalted, will say: ‘See if my servant has any voluntary prayers to complete what is lacking from his obligatory prayers.’ Then the rest of his deeds will be judged in like manner.” [Tirmidhi]

Note: There should not be any form of coercion or force in the phase of discernment up to around the age of ten. Nor should there be mention of any Hereafter punishment related to abandoning prayer until the stage of puberty, as the child is not yet accountable. And Allah knows best.

Summary

Based on the above, I advise you, fathers and mothers, firstly, to consider Allah’s rights over your children and how to raise them in obedience to Allah and train them in acts of worship. Their future commitment to the religion, their prayers, and their love for them will be determined based on how you behave in this critical stage. Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.

Secondly, I advise you to follow these steps mentioned above as much as possible, along with frequent duas (supplications) for your children’s guidance and steadfastness so that Allah makes them among His righteous servants and be with them on the Day of Judgment. Amin.