How Do I Balance Respect for My Father With Justice for My Mother?
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
Over 10 years, my father accused my mother and sisters of inappropriate affairs, leading to their deportation. Now, nearly 30 years old and with my own family, I plan to bring them to Qatar and rent an apartment.
My father threatened divorce or harm if I did. My family knows she’s innocent; if I explained, his accusations would seem unreasonable. Should I stand up or follow my father’s wishes?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question. I am sad to hear about the family situation with your mother and sister.
You should stand up and prepare to bring and rent them an apartment. You are now old enough to make the right decision. She is your mother, and it has been a long time since she has been away from family.
Honoring Your Mother, Then Your Father
Islam highlights the importance of the mother. Completely cutting her off, even if pressured by your father, is not justified.
Abu Hurayra reported: A man asked the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), Who is most deserving of my good company?”
The Prophet said,
“Your mother.”
The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said,
“Your mother.”
The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said,
“Your mother.”
The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said,
“Your father.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Given the considerations in such cases, we urge you to please consult reliable local scholars about the specifics of the situation.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. Insha’Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.
Related
- How Can I Help My Mother Despite My Abusive Father?
- Should I Listen to My Father or Mother When They Tell Me …
Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersGuidance? You can choose from the Islamic Studies Curriculum and progress through each course step by step.
I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received a traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.
