What Do I Do If My Mum Stops Me From Performing Religious Duties?
Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Question:
Assalamu ‘alaykum.
If my period ends on the 5th day (Isha Time), am I required to perform a ghusl in that time and pray? The problem is that my mom may not let me do so at night. She only allows me to take a bath after Sunrise or at Dhuhr time and does not let me a bath at night at all, so what to do? Will I be sinful for not performing Isha and Fajr on time due to this issue? My mom may create a big scene.
Answer:
Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.
I pray you are well.
This is a difficult situation, and you have to approach it with wisdom. Yes, performing each prayer on time is an obligation. One would be sinful for missing them without a reasonable cause, such as forgetting to pray or unintentionally sleeping through a prayer time.
There issue here, however, is to know why your mother does not allow you to perform a ghusl at that time. Perhaps it is based on a cultural understanding. In many Muslim cultures, ladies do not disclose the time of their menstrual cycle, and doing so is taboo. She may think that performing a ghusl at that time might lead to members of the household inferring that.
She might just be superstitious or have another understanding that she sees as more important than the prayer at that time. It is important to determine this in order to reason with her.
If she will listen to you, approach the topic at a time when she is calm and open to discussion. Bring the topic up without an accusing tone or wording. Find out what her reason is. If it requires clarification, get her the relevant information. It is also to gently impress on her the importance of the prayer and that it is the first thing a servant is asked about on the Day of Judgement.
If you’re the right person for this, then speak to her. Otherwise, find someone who she is likely to listen to. Pull at her heartstrings if you have to: say you pray and then donate the reward to her parents of another late loved one of hers.
Ask Allah for help at the outset, and try to find a way out which leaves you with a blood relationship with your mother and able to fulfill the rights of Allah.
May Allah facilitate the matter for you.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History, he moved to Damascus in 2007, where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital. He was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.
